


the pieces of her

by ABANDONEDACCOUNT



Category: Teen Titans
Genre: Esper is pretty timid and terrified, F/M, slight PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-05 11:23:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3118370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABANDONEDACCOUNT/pseuds/ABANDONEDACCOUNT
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We do not remember days, we remember moments.</p><p>We do not remember words, we remember actions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. robots

**Author's Note:**

> “An alien robot!? Cool, I want one.”

Mist clung to the streets like twisting vines. The morning was bitter in taste and feel, and the silent city nearly quivered from the cold. But the ground shook, with a force akin to an earthquake beneath the cemented skin of Jump City.

A large shape, a twisted figure of metal and wires flew from the curling tendrils that shrouded the city in a blanket of white. Over a few hundred meters tall, it hung over the buildings like a parasite. Sleep-ridden citizens slipped from their homes, only to dive back inside at the sight of the giant. Fires licked the clouds around them and buildings crumbled as the giant swung its arms, swiping at invisible things around it, only proceeding to crumble the city.        

Across from the city, an alarm blared in a tower of glass and metal clockwork. A large ‘T’ structure, built high into the sky, blared with red warning lights. But below, a sleek build of a car thundered down towards the city, with three shadowed fingers following silently overhead; a girl in purple and silver, another cloaked in dark violet and a hawk with lime green feathers across its body.                   

They hit the road of Jump City, a swift curve sending the car onto its side wheels as they followed a path of destruction and fire. Inside, a boy with black hair and a mask to match gripped the arm rests, though a grin curled across his lips. He turned to the driver, a man riddled with machinery across his body, who stared uneasily at the screens that littered the dashboard of the car. “What’ve we got, Cyborg?”

Cyborg grunted in reply as his large fingertips skimmed across the glowing screen, searching endlessly whilst still keeping an eye trained skilfully ahead. “ _N-Nothing!_ I got nothing, Robin! This thing isn't in my database or any of the ones I’m hacking!”

A curled fist slammed against the seat as the car skidded to a stop, teeth gritted in an annoyed snarl. His fingers dug into his belt, snatching a circular communicator out of his pocket, and flicked it open with a snap as they got out. Growling into the communicator, it buzzed to life. “Starfire – I need you, Raven and Beastboy to the front of this thing; we need to know what we’re dealing with first.” A static reply filtered through the receiver, and Robin pushed the communicator back into his belt, before turning to Cyborg. A long, nimble finger pointed upwards, towards the rooftops, and he received an excited grin in return, as a large hand curled around the scruff of his neck and they shot into the air.                   

In front of them, Starfire, Raven and Beastboy landed a few two hundred meters from the lumbering mass. Starfire, her fire-red hair waving around her head in a dizzying mass of curls, stared upwards towards the looming shape that would soon arrive before them. She turned towards Raven, a girl with chopped purple locks, and blinked, tilting her head innocently. “Friend-Raven, how will we be doing the _‘recognizing’_ of this villain?”

Raven, now used to the naivety of Starfire, spoke with an even tone laced through her words. “We need to try to figure out what this thing wants and why, use its weaknesses against it.”                                             

Before Starfire could blurt out another question, a metal foot, the size of a curled swimming pool, landed before them, cracking the ground and splintering the world around them. Debris and dust flew up from the crater it had created, and the three fell back. A collective groan fell through the group as they blinked away the pain that blossomed under their skin. From her side, Starfire could hear Beastboy gasp. “An alien _robot!?_ Cool, I want one.”

Red blinded their vision, as light blared from circular eyes. A creaking jaw roared in anger, sending them flying back into the ground at the pressure. As the roar ceased, Raven screeched in anger, flying upwards and throwing her hands into the air above her hooded head. Her familiar chant escaped her lips, and around them, as the robot straightened, the windows darkened and quivered, before a hail of broken glass erupted into the robot’s face, blinding it as her hands clasped together. Starfire lurched into the air beside her as it stumbled back, the ground rattling beneath their feet.

Above, Robin smirked at the sight and his hand spun the elongated metal staff in his hands. With a cry, the lithe teenager burst from the rooftop, and threw his staff into a cleft between the back of the robot’s rounded and jagged head and it’s curved back, littered with dust and broken debris, finding purchase there. His eyes searched for any weak spots, before noticing a small, pencil thin crack running down the curve of the dome-like structure. Turning to the rooftop to his left, he lifted a curled fist, a signal to Cyborg.

As Robin dropped from sight on the robot’s shoulders, Cyborg grinned, and waved his arms wildly around his head. Across from him, the robot turned its head slowly, movements almost sluggish. With a laugh, Cyborg’s left arm flickered and flipped into a blaster. “Time to turn up the heat! Booyah!”                                             

The blast reverberated off of the robot’s cheek, sending chunks of scorched metal to the ground as the left side of its face disappeared. As Cyborg cheered, the robot crowed in heated anger, and as its large hand lifted to swipe angrily at Cyborg like he was a speck of mud on his windshield, the ground was lifted from beneath his metal toes. Cyborg gave a small screech at the feeling, before looking upwards, finding a feathered face glancing down at him. If hawks could smile, Cyborg was sure Beastboy would be grinning at the sound.

On the ground, Robin joined Starfire and Raven, the staff broken in half with jagged corners, but it hardly seemed to bother him as he twirled it between white knuckles. Starfire’s eyes glowed a sickly green, energy balls surrounding her clenched fists as she aimed at the legs of the robot. But its eyes were no longer pressed on them or the two titans that had taken flight among its head. Red orbs turned to the ground between its feet, and the titan’s eyes followed.

A body weaved between the large, metal columns of the robots feet. Short in stature, with a bouncing mane of black across its shoulders. Bursting from the seams of mist around the ankles of the robot, whose fingers swiped downwards to somehow snatch the stranger, was a girl. Sweat clung to her face and any other sight of skin they could see, showing her exhaustion. Her brown eyes were wild, and a large cut swept from her temple to the hollow of her cheek, waves of blood running down the side of her face. It matted into the pale blue overalls that covered her entire body; much like a prisoner would wear every day, with the absence of the orange.                                                                                                                       

Their eyes widened at the sight and Robin turned to Raven at his right. “Raven, go save the citi-” but suddenly, before Robin could finish his words, a sharp screech ripped through the chaos as Beastboy and Cyborg landed behind them. A clamp, curved into a claw, gripped the girl around the waist. A petrified screech broke through her chapped lips, fingers clawing at the metal that dragged her back towards the beast. It hauled her upwards, quickly into a compartment in its chest, slamming its opened hatch closed as she disappeared behind the metal body.                                                                                                                       

Jaws slackened and Starfire landed beside Robin, gripping his arm in shock. “That poor girl! Robin, we must rescue her from that beast!”                                                                                                                                 

“We _will,_ Starfire, I -” behind them, the robot seemed to vibrate violently. Enraged shrill screeches escaped through its metal teeth, large, broken fingers clawing at its chest where it had trapped the girl. From the cracks between its armor, a red glow pierced through the air. It seemed to shimmer and cause more cracks to ripple through the armor like snakes across its metal body. Then, the world collapsed into a kaleidoscope of broken and burnt metal.

As the dust settled around the five heroes, they turned their gaze’s skywards, and standing on the wobbling legs of the crumbled giant, was the same girl that had been trapped into the belly of the beast. Angry red rings circled her body; fists clenched and eyes wide, glowing red, the rings resembled much like the ones that circled Saturn. She stood tall, proud and stable, but that image soon cracked as the red dripped away, and her eyes returned to the same dark brown. Her frame wobbled, before her eyes slid closed and she dropped from the legs that fell to a pile beneath her.

Before a command could even hit the air, Raven was hovering beside the girl in mid-air, her arms sliding beneath her bent knees and shoulders. She re-appeared beside the others in seconds, supporting the girl against her chest with a blank look, startling Beastboy into clinging to Cyborg’s arm. The others curled into her, to peer down at the girl, unconscious in her arms.  

Innocently, Beastboy peered upwards at their leader in red. “What do we do with her?”                                     

Four sets of eyes turned to the teenager, whose brow crumpled in wonderment as he stared down at the girl. Her chest heaved with broken breaths, her fingers curled around nothing and she seemed to flinch, even in unconsciousness. Moreover, she was incredibly thin, and the gash on the side of her face was deep, as well as the burn marks that littered her blue overalls had seemed to burn into her skin with the force of her destructive powers. Robin’s lip curled, before his decision was made and he turned to his team.                                                                                                                                                                                  

He nodded towards the tower. “We’ll take her home and bandage her up, then, when she wakes, we’ll find out why the robot wanted her. Cyborg, you stay here and help the police clean up and tell them what happened. Raven, you teleport to the tower and get her comfortable,” the team broke, and Robin thundered to the car, leaving Cyborg in his wake, who saluted him, and following Starfire and Beastboy as they flew overhead to the tower.


	2. peace and quiet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Can we keep her?” 
> 
> “What? No, what the heck is wrong with you!” 
> 
> “Hey, no swatting, man!”

“Can we keep her?”

“What? _No,_ what the heck is wrong with you!”

“Hey, no swatting, man!” Beastboy dived out of the path of the hand that swept at his temple, whilst he peered down at the girl laden with blankets on the sofa. Her fingers curled into the blankets desperately, tugging them closer as she slept, as if in need for a lifeline. Her body twisted with broken cries, as she lived in a nightmare in the walls of her mind.

On the opposite end of the sofa, Cyborg dropped heavily into the pillows that littered the space around it, with Beastboy falling into the beanbag as they surveyed the sleeping girl. A twisted, metal brow over a reddened eye lifted as she gave another sharp cry, the nightmares in her head baring their teeth once more. “D’ya think she’s got a name?”

Beastboy’s curiosity piqued at the notion, and he turned to her from his seat. Leaning forward, he sat his chin onto his closed fists, eyes squinting as if her name was written somewhere across her face in small letters that he couldn't see from where he sat. After a moment, he gave a sharp shrug, turning towards Cyborg who had stood up from his seat to turn on the games station. The game rolled across the screen and Cyborg dropped into his seat beside him, passing him a controller. “I dunno, I think she looks like a Janice. Maybe a Beatrice.”

A snort escaped Cyborg as the music from the racing game pulsed through his skin. “Janice? _Beatrice?_ Nah man, she’s probably something like a Cleo or Rhea.”

They lapsed into trash talk as the game started, forgetting about their previous conversation as the music built and so did their screaming match. After about ten minutes of the throb of music that moved the tower with a beat, a loud slam sounded behind the two. Ceasing their trash talk, they found Raven floating angrily at the doors, practically strangling a book in her hands.

“I am _trying_ to read, so would you turn down your game?” her voice was calm, unnaturally so, despite her usually bored tone, but her teeth were clenched tightly. Beastboy burst out laughing, and hooked a thumb back towards the screen behind them, as Cyborg started the game up again.                                         

“Turn _this_ down? No way, Rae – that rhymes – this game has the best beats of like, the century!”  Giving her a wide grin, Beastboy completely dismissed her plea, and started to play again. Raven, felt a vein throb in her forehead and gnashed her teeth together, as if to calm the raging anger she felt build up in her veins. Reigning in her emotions, a skill she had long since mastered, she muttered her familiar chant beneath her breath.

The game suddenly switched off, eliciting a cry of outrage from the two, before their eyes widened in horror. The game station turned dark with Raven’s powers surrounding it, before it was lifted into the air and thrown to the ground, the plastic splintering into a mess of wires and sparks on the floor in front of them.

Before her, Beastboy and Cyborg stood and screeched, Cyborg staring in distress, whilst Beastboy raced forwards and collected the broken hardware into his arms, mouth agape. He turned to Raven, who didn't bat an eyelid at his words. “You _monster!_ ”

“ _Finally,_ some peace and quiet.”

Behind her, Raven felt someone’s presence and instantly knew it was Robin arriving from sparring in the gym below. Silently, he took in the sight of Cyborg staring in complete shock at the broken game station in Beastboy’s arms, complaining about the expense whilst Beastboy cursed Raven for the broken game. Beside him, Raven calmed and the book in her hands shimmered with her powers around it, opening of its own command as she moved to block out Beastboy’s complaints. But as she turned to leave the room, Robin’s hand blocked her eye line of the words that were scrawled across the page before her. With an exaggerated sigh, she turned towards him with an expectant gaze. “What?”                    

“Why’d you do that, Raven?”

“Because, it’s annoying when your furniture is practically dancing, and you can’t even hear your own thoughts!”

“Still, that doesn't give you any right to -” the conversation delved into a heated argument, a crescendo of yelling and unadulterated anger filling the room with a tense atmosphere. Raven waved her book madly, threatening to hit Robin on accident, who shuffled out of the way of her book. Cyborg and Beastboy argued loudly about who had achieved the highest score before Raven had practically ‘slaughtered’ the game station in front of them.

No-one noticed however, when the doors slid open, Starfire’s emerald eyes turned wide at the sight of her friends. Desperation clawed at her chest at the sight. Her arms were full of shopping bags, and in her need to gather air from the straining weight, she dropped them. “MY FRIENDS!”                                        

All arguing ceased and faded into silence, turning to Starfire with frightened eyes, as they knew of the anger that could emanate from her. Shuffling away, as if the girl would – and could – shoot them with her blasts, they turned their heads down, except Raven who merely nodded her head, the most someone would ever get out of Raven usually. A chorus of “sorry Starfire,” emanated from the group, but the girl still held slight anger. “I come back from the mall of shopping with gifts, and you are doing the shouting with each other again!”

Suddenly, her composure shifted, and everyone was reminded of the Tamaranean princess she had once been, had once held the weight of a crown on her head. She had not forgotten the teachings of her heritage and neither had her friends. “Besides, I believe that you have awoken our friend.”                  

Confusion settled into the group before realization dawned, and they turned, to find terrified brown eyes stare up at them over the curve of the dark sofa. A soft gasp pulled from her lips as they found her, fingers curled deeply into the back of the sofa that they threatened to tear it. Down the side of her face, her gash had been bandaged with three slices of white, medical tape.

“You’re awake!” Beastboy’s loud boom of excitement startled the girl, as she jumped back and into the large, open space behind her. She scrambled back, staring in horror at the group. Beastboy, however, flinched at the sight, preparing to spurt out an apology before Cyborg’s hand clamped around his mouth in an iron vice.

Starfire floated towards her, and approached her as if she were a cornered animal. The girl backed up towards the wall of the platform, and gave a short, terrified gasp of air. Her fingers searched for purchase, and her chest heaved as Starfire approached, unsure whether she’d harm her in any way or not. Starfire lifted a smile to her features.

“Hello, new friend. My name is Starfire, may I know yours?” The girl’s head tilted, confusion clouding her dark eyes at the mention. Her mouth moved, but struggled to form words. Cotton wool seemed to clog her throat, forcing any sound that she tried to convey back down her throat.

“Uh, Star, I don’t think she wants to tell you.”

Turning swiftly, Starfire sent Cyborg a glare that spoke words when her mouth didn't, and Cyborg’s own mouth snapped closed at the sight. He would never admit it, but the small girl in front of him could bring him to his knees. _Literally._  

Starfire swiveled back to the girl, and placed her hands upwards as she balanced on her toes, opting for the sign of peace. She noticed how the younger’s breath seemed to even at the offering. “It is _alright,_ new friend. You are safe here, and my friends do not do the shouting often. Do you have a name?”

The girl blinked, her eyes watching her steadily, searching for any ticks or twitches that her mind, long ago, had learnt to search for among strangers. Memories forced their way through the barriers that she had built, to clog entrances to her otherwise barren mind of thoughts, and she felt her fingers twitch as she remembered. But, the slight terror that had crawled under her skin seems to shift the cotton, and the words slip in broken verbs.

“Ex-Exp...” she rocks forwards, as if the words will somehow increase if she shifts the cotton out of the way fully. “Exper...”

“Esper? Is that your name?” Starfire questions, seemingly glad to have pulled a response from the girl that had remained so quiet. Behind her, incredulous looks were shared as the others curled in, interested on the young girl.

The girl sighed, turning to Starfire once more as her arms wrapped around her bent knees like a coil, as if sheltering her body from the world. “...Experiment 622017.”

Stunned gazes turned towards the girl, with matted hair and bloodshot eyes. Beastboy gave a short gasp and clutched his hands together over his mouth, and felt Cyborg flinch behind him. He briefly knew what it was like to be stuck with needles. If possible, the girl curls further in on herself, like a ball, and starts to shiver violently. Everyone knows it isn't from the cold.

Starfire, unbeknownst to what the term means, moves to congratulate the girl on the bravery she had displayed in telling them her name, but a hand on her arm pauses all movement of her body. Turning, she finds Robin, staring down at her.

“Starfire, I think it’s best that she rests now.”

“But, Robin -”

“ _Now,_ Starfire,” he prods, giving a half-hearted gentle tug at her arm, sternness filtering into his words. Starfire stares at him in bewilderment, before turning to the girl with a soft smile, and peeling away from her. They leave her, noticing that she crawls back onto and under the thick blankets once they leave the room.

They congregate into a circle just outside the door, and the first to speak is Raven, who crosses her arms and speaks blankly. “Well, now we know how she got her powers.”                                                                           

Across from her, Cyborg runs a hand tiredly over his face at the confession. “God, poor kid,” he mutters, wondering how on earth he never saw the signs. Though, granted, the signs are only shown when someone is awake, but he was still horrified. The bloodshot eyes, the minuscule scars that he had seen cross her collarbones and further when he was patching up her gash. He flinched as a thought passed briefly across his mind. “She looks so young; she can’t be older than fourteen.”

“I do not understand, what is the matter?” Starfire hovers close at Robin’s side, a few stray fingers curling around his upper arm to steady herself beside him. Robin sighs.

“She was an experiment Starfire, which means people, experimented on her. They... _hurt_ her,” anger flashes across his veins and what could have possibly happened to her, and how long she may have suffered. Before anyone can speak, he cuts in. “Maybe _that’s_ why that robot was after her, maybe not, but we need to find out, and she isn't in any shape to say so now – she’s staying here.”


	3. beast boy

After numerous attempts to at least force food into her mouth, even more so getting her to talk, they stayed clear of the broken girl. The silence around her stretched, widening until anyone that stepped near her instantly closed their mouth tightly, and walked softly, as not to terrify the girl.                                                          

They had taken to calling her Esper, the only name that seemed appropriate enough to suit her, despite Beastboy’s many attempts at trying to think up a ridiculous name for her. She even responded to it at times, when she wasn't lost in a hollow mind.                                                                                                                             

She seemed to like the night, when no-one was around. When she was sure that the hurried footsteps and the worried gazes had drifted away from her, she crawled from her cocoon of blankets, though she still dragged one behind her like a lost child for comfort, dragging it around her shoulders. The ground is cold, sending shivers arching across her darkened skin, but she was used to the cold. Her fingers scraped at the floor, the nails cut and torn down to nubs against her curved fingertips, and her hair no longer fell in front of her. Despite the pain that blossomed across her skin when she moved, bruises and cuts that still had to heal, she found herself at the window, nose almost brushing against the cool exterior.

Her legs crossed in front of her, and her eyes caught the shimmer of the skyline in dark hues. She didn't dare look down, only looked forwards, and awe captures her in an iron embrace. The moon balances on the spikes and curves of the city across the water like a tightrope walker, and the stars seem to bleed light across the darkened world. She lifts her hand, peeling it from the brief warmth around her body, as if to pass through the glass and hold the moon in the palm of her hand, but she only hits glass. Sighing, she settles for spreading her fingers outwards.

Suddenly, a scuff of feet alerts her to something behind her, and a small gasp of fright pulls from her lips. She pulls the blanket closer, as if a form of armor around her body, and turns, pulling the blanket over her head like a hood. A shape, a boy, blinks at her, paused in mid-step. Her chuckles nervously, rubbing a green hand across a purple shoulder. She knew his face, but not his name. When she begins to shake and press back against the glass, his eyes widen and he jumps the curve of the sofa, hands out towards her in peace, though it makes her breathing accelerate.                                                                         

Groaning, he shakes his head. “Whoa, little chickie, I’m not gonna hurt you. Scouts honor,” he mutters, crossing one hand across his chest, as if in promise. The familiar gesture, from years before, calms her slightly, but her fingers still grasp at the glass, as if she can somehow press it open and drop into the oblivion. Beastboy stands still, careful not to move until she’s calm. Cyborg’s warned him. “I-I’m Beastboy, I won’t hurt you, seriously.”

He shuffles back, until her breathing is normal and he smiles, before dropping his hands. Her eyes are calculating, intelligent. They remind him of the earth, and he hooks a thumb over his shoulder. “I-I was just gonna make a snack, you can get back to your...city-watching?”

The boy tilts his head to the side, innocence clouding his vision. The notion brings something foreign to her features – a small curve of her lips. But as quickly as it came, she turns, desperate to hide the curl on her mouth. _Not allowed to smile, never._

Unbeknownst of her inner thoughts, Beastboy feels a victorious grin pull across his own mouth at the sight. None of them had seen her smile, and slight pride flowed through him at the notion that he had been the one to do so. But his growling stomach had other matters, and tearing his eyes from the girl, who was so close yet so far away, he shuffled towards the kitchen on the opposite side of the main room. His legs swung across the counter, and he fell beside the fridge expertly.

As he gathered the ingredients to make a sandwich, a thought occurred to him, and he twisted, sitting the ingredients onto the counter whilst mindlessly pawing around for the bread. His eyes caught sight of the jaw-slackened look on the girl’s features, and he felt a tender protectiveness fall over him at the sight. He drummed his fingers, before he worked past the ball in his throat. “Hey, E-Esper...do you want a sandwich?”

Esper jumped at the noise, and glanced at him like a deer caught in the glare of a pair of headlights. He almost laughed, but as she shook her head, he gave a gentle nod and continued to create his sandwich, giving a disgusted snort when he grabbed at a carton of ham in the fridge. He didn't notice the short smile that cascaded across dry lips.

Once again, Esper jumped as she felt a presence beside her, and turned to her left, finding Beastboy sat beside her, the closest anyone has been to her, beside Starfire. The girl still hasn't come near her, despite how she tries to but Robin has to pull her back. Meanwhile, Beastboy spears his eyes across the city, and she briefly wishes he had seen it only a few moments ago, when the clouds didn't blot out the bloated moon. But she’s leaning back, staring at him as if he is a strange specimen, but to her, he is.

As Beastboy slots the sandwich back into his mouth, he turns towards her, half bitten into the bread and cheese, a lone tomato hanging from his mouth. He places the sandwich back onto his plate, nimble fingers brushing away any stray crumbs from his body. “S-Sorry, if you wanna be left alone, I totally get that. I just wanted to...” he turns his gaze back to the skyline of Jump City, a gentle smile falling on his mouth as he looks at his city; _their_ city. “To see what captured you so much.”

Once again, he’s lost in the haze of the city he lives in, and Esper’s measuring gaze falls across him. Her brow furrows as she tries to decode the boy in front of her – why he wants to be beside her, why he wants to know what she is interested in. No-one has been before.

With a sigh, Esper’s fingers, shaking, land against Beastboy’s shoulder in a drumming beat. It's the first time she's touched anyone so gently. Ripped from his thoughts, he turns to find brown eyes, brighter than he’s seen before, look to him before darting towards the sandwich. It takes him a few beats, before his lips form an ‘O’ shape, and he nods, holding the plate up for her to take the sandwich. She slips her hands beneath it, delicately, as if to weigh it in her palms, and holds it with both hands. Tentatively, she brings it to her lips and takes a minuscule bite of the snack.                             

Beastboy chuckles when her nose wrinkles up and she sits the sandwich back on the plate in his lap, wiping stray crumbs from her mouth. She sends him a confused glance, as if to ask what the concoction on the plate is. Beastboy briefly turns, and pulls the top layer of bread off, revealing a simple layer of cheese and tomato. “What, you don’t like tofu cheese and tomato? I can make you something else, if you’d like?”

Shaking her head, Esper reaches forwards once more and plucks the sandwich from his fingers, pulling the bread off again and removing the tomato. She sits the vegetable on the plate in Beastboy’s hands and takes a bite of the cheese, making the elder of the two laugh.

“Oh, you don’t like tomatoes,” he concluded, watching as she stole minuscule bites from the food, and Beastboy didn’t mind sharing his food. But he noticed how her fingers clutched the sandwich, as if desperate to hang on to it. As if she had had to fight for food against others, leaving him to wonder what life she’d came from. What sort of experiment she could be.

He was ripped from his thoughts when the sandwich was placed back on the plate in his lap, hardly a bite stolen from it. Seemingly done with him now, her gaze turned back to the city across the water, her eyes wide with an innocent curiosity. Beastboy realized – she’s never truly seen the outside world before.

Smiling, he lets them both lapse into silence, with only the sound of his noisy munching to break the tangible quiet between them. When he finishes, he sighs in satisfaction and pats his stomach, but her eyes never stray from the star-dotted landscape.

Only when he stands, does she jump in shock, as if she had forgotten of his presence by her side, before her eyes turn back. Her hands spread wide across the glass, trying to reach out to the world that is lost to her fingertips. 

He coughs when he’s dropped his plate into the sink and stretched like a cat, alerting her attention to him, where he now stands at the couch, beside the bundle of blankets that she usually hides beneath. Beastboy jerks a thumb backwards to one of the doors, a trademark smile coasting across his cheeks. “I’m gonna grab some Z’s, but just so you know, Cyborg wants to talk to you tomorrow. He isn’t gonna hurt you,” he adds the last sentence quickly, noticing the rising panic that builds in her chocolate eyes. He doesn’t blame her – a guy that size would terrify anyone. So he left her to her city-gazing and he retired to his bed, sinking into the pillows tiredly.


	4. tests

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Doctor Winters, the subject is resisting the arena tests!"
> 
> "Stick it with the anesthesia, subject 622017 is vital to this procedure!"

When she awoke, beside the window and cocooned in her blanket, she felt her cheek drenched with what she hoped was merely water. Blinking away the remnants of a fitful rest, plagued with nightmares of a life before, she found shapes blurring into view and her voice suddenly reached a crescendo of screeching when she finally focused on what was in front of her.

A bumbling ball of pink and pale cream, blinked at her, jaw slackened to reveal a purple tongue, hidden behind daggered teeth. Strange, curled markings adorned its worm-like body, with four stumped legs running down either side of its body, with a hooked tail like a scorpion's to complete it.

Esper crawled back, screeching at the sight of the creature's razor teeth, fear bubbling up her throat in shrill noises. The small worm-like thing gave its own hollow screech, pulling back the long tongue into its mouth and squirming backwards. Its eyes circled in hurt, and soon found itself circling back and burrowing under the blankets she had slept under as the five heroes battled through the door, Starfire's hair thrown upwards in sleep-rattled curls.

"Where's the fire?" Cyborg sleepily uttered, half-heartedly lifting a hand as he stumbled into Robin, eyes closing and opening rhythmically.

Beastboy, now intrigued by Esper, watching as she clutched the blanket's with a death grip that could rival even Cyborg's, shot towards her, Starfire following. But the redhead was soon intrigued with the shaking mess of blankets, and as Beastboy attempted to calm the girl, unsuccessfully, nimble fingers pulled back the blankets to reveal the shaken mutant worm.

Starfire's eyes widened at the sight, and with a whimper, the mutant leapt into her arms and burrowed into the crook of her neck, like a child would do when clutching their mother. "Silkie! You are not to be terrifying our guest like that."

Silkie only whimpered in response, which caught Esper's attention once more, eliciting a soft gasp of terror from the girl. She clutched at Beastboy's wrist, who groaned at the tight squeeze. He didn't know she was so strong. Turning, in desperation, he flapped his hand at the redhead. "Starfire, can you get Silkie outta here, he's scaring Esper."

With a quick nod and a turn on her heel, Starfire shuffled out of the room, reprimanding Silkie for scaring the girl. The others, however, watched in vague fascination as Beastboy's attempts at calming the girl turned sour, as she could only clutch her head and shake with short gasps for breath. In her annoyance, Raven swept forwards.

Pushed from where he was perched on his haunches, Beastboy and the others could only watch in bewilderment as Raven crouched before the girl. Her gaze was blank when she threw back her hood, but they knew she was worried from the anxious chew she gave to her lip. Slowly, her fingertips brushed Esper's with the lightest of touches, and the girl's head snapped upwards.

Eyes rounding in terror at the sight of a stranger, Esper's legs pushed back, so she slid further away from Raven, one hand gripping along the large window to support her quivering frame. With all the calmness and gentle nature someone who had learnt to control their emotions would have, Raven placed a hand upwards, emotionless expression never wavering. "Esper, it's okay. It was just Starfire's stupid pet, Silkie, so I suggest you  _calm down._ "

As Esper's breathing evened once more, Raven stood and flipped up her hood, her fascination with the girl all but lost. She turned away and fell back through the doors, muttering about her need for peace and quiet. The others stared after her in astonishment. Usually, the usually placid and docile girl who hardly showed emotion had shown slight worry for a girl that had somehow intruded on their lives in the weirdest of ways. Raven was not known for her kindness.

As the waves of shock turned to a gentle ripple around them, and Esper was calmed once more from her fright at the sight of the mutant pet, the atmosphere shifted into comfortability. Only when Cyborg approached both Esper and Beastboy, did the girl jump at the sight of the mountain of muscle above her.

The elder slowly lowered himself to his knees beside the girl, knowing she was prone to jump at the slightest of sounds and touches. He placed his hands before him, gaze steady with hers which only consisted of harmless inquisitiveness. A smile curled across his dry lips when she didn't back away instantly. "Esper, I'm Cyborg – you can call me Cy if you want," he said, noticing a burst of recognition in her eyes at the name. "I need to ask a favor of you."

Esper twisted, looking to Beastboy in confirmation, who gave her an enthusiastic nod. The girl turned, with a shaky smile. She still didn't trust them fully, but when Cyborg stood and beckoned the two to follow, she did so with a skip in her step.

Her eyes were wide with interest and eagerness, jumping back with an elated squeal when she accidentally opened mechanical doors or racing to windows to stare at the outside world. It had been so long since she had had the chance to roam somewhere freely.

Their destination came quick, and she found herself in a dome-like room, circular lights above her. They blinded her vision, causing her gaze to turn downwards, where she felt the soft prod of clothes in her hands. Her gaze turned upwards once more, finding the kind face of Starfire handing her clothes. "Cyborg requested that you change. Do you wish accompaniment?"

Esper blinked shyly and gave a shake of her head, shuffling towards the hidden door that Starfire had graciously pointed her towards. She slid behind the door and slowly, biting back a whimper at the feeling of enclosed spaces, began to change.

Once finished, Esper stepped out of the room, fixing an ear piece over the shell of her ear with a microphone. The new clothes across her body felt weird, the fabric much softer than she had ever been used too. Black pants, much like leggings, were secured close to her waist line with a light red belt, like a Japanese obi, spinning the expanse of her waist. A black long sleeve shirt adorned her torso, with metal armour plates on her hands, shoulders and upper torso. In the middle of each, a red circle could be seen, something that vaguely reminded her of her powers.

"Okay, Esp," a crackled voice spat in her ear, making her jump at the sudden sound before she recognized it as Cyborg's. "If you look up, you'll see a glass overhang. The entire team's here, so you're not alone, alright?"

She followed his instructions upwards as he guided her into the middle, noticing a window that stared down at her position. A tremor filled her body as the reality of what was happening came down upon her. This was a test.

Her wide eyed gaze turned to the floor, but oblivious to her fright, Cyborg continued on with the program, speaking slowly into the ear piece, the machinery almost drowning out any intelligible speech. His hands danced across the buttons until, around Esper, a series of straw dummies lifted from the floor, creating a circle around the girl. Her breathing suddenly increased at the feeling of being trapped, of bars from an entirely different life closing in on her chest, crushing her lungs to the floor.

_"Doctor Winters, the subject is resisting the arena tests!"_

_"Stick it with the anesthesia, subject 622017 is vital to this procedure!"_

"Esper," he repeated once again, trying to gain her attention as the heat clung to her chest, a fire beneath her rib bones. "Esper, I need you to shoot the dummies, kiddo, okay?"

_"It's becoming hysterical, we may have to destroy it if it will not comply to the study."_

_"Carlyle, we're being paid a wealthy amount of money, by a wealthy man."_

_"But it's -"_

_"I'm not losing this subject. Put it into the testing room, that'll get it's rage out."_

When she didn't answer, only stared at her toes, confusion seeped into the air and anxious glances were exchanged. Robin, on Starfire's left, crossed his arms and sent Cyborg a withered look. The robotic man had gone against his wishes, creating a test for the girl when Robin had profusely fought that she wasn't ready, and that it was pointless to do so. When Cyborg caught sight of the look, a new found determination flared up inside of him.

As he pressed and smashed buttons beneath large fists, urgent looks passed between the five heroes. "Esper, kid, you alright? C'mon, say something, sweetheart."

_"This is a dangerous thing to do to a human being, sir."_

_"It's not human, it's my experiment."_

When she didn't answer, when her breathing shuddered through gnashed teeth, Starfire pushed through the door with Raven on her heels, with Beastboy's voice screeching in his ears to turn it off as the girl collapsed to her knees, fingers spreading across the metal plate of her chest armor, as if the mere action would restore the breath in her lungs.

"I'm trying, god damn it –"

"...Dangerous." the soft voice crackled through the microphone, and as Starfire and Raven fell into the room, Esper ran her hands through her chopped locks, oblivious to the shell-shocked looks from the other five. Tucking her arms into her chest, her fists curled beneath her chin as she curled up. "Danger...so much danger..."

When Esper felt eyes on her, she turned to look upwards, finding the Titans staring down at her, trying to bite back the questions that threatened to surface. It was Starfire, who sat down in front of her, forcing dark, troubled eyes into endless green ones, that shimmered kindness and compassion. Beside her, Beastboy dropped to his knees, worry evident on his features.

"You know, I think that's the most I've ever heard her say."

Brushing off Raven's dry humour, Starfire placed her hands on the girl's curled fists when they had lowered onto her knees, who ripped them back as if she had been burnt. Fear flooded her eyes and her chest heaved. "Dangerous...never hurt...never."

Their hearts broke at the sight of the girl, when tears fell down her cheeks as if the pain of ever hurting anyone, as she had been hurt, gave her immense fright. Wonder of what had truly happened to her flooded their minds once more, but as always in her presence, they folded them away for later. Starfire shushed the girl, who shook like a leaf.

"Friend-Esper, you are not dangerous," she spoke slowly, evenly, as not to send the girl into another panic attack as her breathing slowed. Though they walked on egg shells around her, they were learning which shells not to crack. "Your past does not define whether you are dangerous or not. You are  _not_ dangerous."

Esper stared at Starfire, as if in amazement at her kindness, but the steel bars were still clamped around her chest, her heart wildly pounding against the curve of her ribs as she tried to banish the scorched memories away. Labs, needles and men with sickly sweet smiles that resembled a cat's. As the finality of her situation fell into her mind, she dripped into the black, her mind too battered to keep her upright. The darkness swallowed her.

When the girl's eyes slotted closed, the first to catch the girl was Cyborg, guilt eating at his chest as he stared down at her. So little and slight in his arms, he was surprised she fit between both. He stood slowly, as not to jostle her and Raven placed the back of her hand against her forehead as worry slipped between the group.

"She's fine; she just got a pretty healthy dose of fear in her system," being an empath, Raven had felt wave upon wave of petrified memories and fear beneath her skin, like an unwanted itch across her body. She could also feel the chill snarl of Cyborg's guilt – he hadn't meant to send her into a panic attack, and they all knew it. But that didn't dampen the feeling. "Cyborg, it wasn't your fault. You didn't know that the tests they used with her were to do with hurting others."

The man shrugged as they pushed out of the room, expression harder than stone. "Still, I should've waited, at least until she was comfortable."

On his shoulder, her felt a gloved hand clasp it strongly, as if to steady him. It was rare that, out of the entire group, that Cyborg was the one who was guilty. Usually, he had to clean up the messes of their team, physically and emotionally. It was rare that Cyborg was the one who was a mess, over such a simple accident. "We'll wait another time to document her powers, but for now, let's let her get some rest, okay?"

With a brief subject change, Beastboy and Starfire started to pester Cyborg to give her a room in the tower, debating where it would be and how the excitable girl would convince the other to go shopping for clothes with her. Behind them, Raven and Robin held back, turning to each other.

"Something's not right here, Robin."

Robin hummed, raking a few nimble fingers through his unruly locks of midnight black hair. "I know – who makes a child hurt someone else as a test, perhaps killing them, based on the extent of her powers and how she reacted."

Beside him, Raven's expression darkened, "someone who has a thing for death."


	5. alarm bells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Good morning, new friend! It is glorious to see you have awoken, but may I say, you do hold the scent of what Cyborg calls the oil. Why is that?”

Esper resurfaced just after breakfast time, and someone had changed her clothes to pyjamas, causing her to stumble into the main room in a t-shirt to large for her, with shorts underneath. When delicate fingers rubbed the sleep from her eyes, a frown cascaded across her lips, as the usual chatter that she had become accustomed to, didn’t linger in the air. The game station lay silent, the kitchen remained quiet.  Arching a brow, she stumbled down the steps gingerly.

Curiosity arched its fingers across her skin, prickling it when she heard the mechanical screech of electronics from somewhere in the tower. Her heart lurched into her throat at the sound, remembering the feeling of the same sound vibrate through crumbling walls into her fingers. Her fingers would shake, as if the sound had burnt through flesh and bone.

The memory sends an unwilling shudder across her spine, and she bites back the whimper that threatens to slip between her teeth. But her feet have a mind of their own, and the curiosity has won when she finds herself in a hallway, sparked light flashing against the wall down another curve of the labyrinth’s that wind around the tower.

When she finds a metal door, with light leaking onto the floor in the hallway from beneath it, she feels another hand of fear constrict around her heart. But she can hear familiar grunts that don’t sound like screams, and the door slides open, making her jump. The fear drips from around her chest.

Though the room is large and spacious, the whirring of machines deafening to the ear, the large engine in the middle of the room drew the most attention. Sparks shot from the twisted, metal body, oil slicked across the side. Beneath it, a large body tweaked and twisted metal with strong fingers grunts of strength filling the room. A loud cry broke free with the spray of oil, causing Esper to giggle.

He slides from beneath the engine after the oil spurt has been stopped, and crawls out, groaning at the oil across his body. “Man, this is gonna ruin my tech and everything...”He pulled a rag from the table beside him, worn and stained from years of service as he rid himself of the oil around the metal that encircled his body when his eyes turned upwards. They widened in surprise, a buzz of thought crawling across his mind as to how he hadn’t heard her. The girl blinked at him, hands clasped behind her back.

Dark hair twisted and turned to survey the room from her vantage point, and Cyborg almost laughed at the fact she was waiting for an invitation. Everyone knew that Cyborg didn’t mind harmless intruders. Tossing the rag over his shoulder, the popped hood edge of the engine capturing the filthy object, he grinned. “You know, you can come in if you want too.”

She didn’t know why she seemed to be so comfortable in his presence, despite the lack of conversation between them. Maybe it was because, from the few times she’d surfaced after their encounter with the towering robot, she’d seen him working diligently over her scars and cuts and bruises. Subconsciously, her hand came to trail down the body of the white scar that started from the curve of her cheek below her right eye, and fell just over her jaw. But she also held another theory, and why she seemed to be so close to the shortest member of the rag-tailed group of heroes – they both seemed to smile with an ease she hadn’t seen in years.

Sliding forwards, she gives a squeak when the door slides shut behind her, sending the taller man a wide-eyed gaze. Cyborg chuckled, running the rag down his shoulder to rid it of the oil stains that would be soon left on the metal.

Dipping forwards, the girl joined him at his side, peering into the engine with enquiring eyes, small fingers curling onto the metal mouth of the car, held up by cement bricks. Turning her head once more, she looked to Cyborg for answers.

“O-Oh, I’m, uh, working on the engine for the T-Car. She’s getting a little heavy on the turnings since I took out the third gear. Hey, listen,” he muttered, feeling a smile tug at his mouth as she pressed a part in with both hands forcefully, proceeding to lather her fingers with oil. Tossing the rag to her, he continued. “I’m _sorry_ about yesterday, seriously. I didn’t mean to frighten you at all, Robin and I were just wondering about–”

But suddenly, he feels fingers on his breastplate, tapping a few beats to turn his eyes downwards, as he had averted them from the sharp brown eyes that belonged to the short girl. When he does turn to look at her, a soft smile is on her cheeks. Her head shakes, as if to quieten his guilt and he takes the silence, which has become so familiar around the girl, as forgiveness. But he can’t help but wonder, why she only seems to be held by spider webs and twigs instead of the rocks and cement that she has everyone believing she is.  Sometimes, he thinks, it’s a blessing to be silent.

As the subject dies down in the air between them, Cyborg nudges his head towards the car engine, prompting her eyes to turn to it. “If I asked nicely, would you grab that pulley from the shelf up there from my shoulders?”

It’s only when her toes are balancing on curved metal shoulders, by the time she is now dressed properly, her fingers are grasping along wooden, splintered edges, when the door opens, and a large shout of victory jerks them both from reality, causing Cyborg to turn swiftly, leaving the girl to grasp onto the shelf for dear life.

Behind them, Beast boy was grinning wildly, dressed only in sweat pants and a batman t-shirt and jogged up towards the robotic man. “Hey, you guys are late for breakfast, I’m cooking!” When the sour look twists across Cyborg’s features, Beast boy sticks out a tongue, narrowly missing a tackle as he dives under a large arm. Confusion curls across his face, and he points a hand towards the girl grasping for purchase. “Uh, Cy? I think you gotta problem’o.”

It takes a second for the man of muscle to turn, and his mouth forms an ‘O’ as he dives forwards, plucking the girl from the shelf by the scruff of her neck. When they turn, he shrugs at her as her eyes narrow in annoyance and her arms cross and her legs dangle high off the ground. “Sorry.”

He receives a well-aimed slap of the rag and the curled pulley pressed into his palm when he lowers her, the girl gripping onto the engine for dear-life. In front of them, Beast Boy laughs and grasps the girl’s hand, tugging her towards the door as she wipes off the oil from her fingers. “C’mon, I’m cooking _tofu bacon_.”

“ _Don’t_ eat it,” Cyborg warns as the shorter is tugged by the boy, through the clockwork of the tower once more, words falling from his lips rapidly as she smiles at the joke. They fly through the door with Beast boy sitting the girl down, eager to show-off his cooking skills.

A soft growl emits from her stomach at the smell of food, and a chuckle causes her to jump, fingers fidgeting with the hem of her shirt as she finds the boy with black hair and a mask to match sat back at the table, a newspaper held tightly between his fingers. He peers over the flapping paper, a soft smile on his features. “Someone’s hungry.”

Admitting he’s not a threat, the girl nods and shuffles to sit on the edge of the seats around the two yellow tables, crossing her legs in a lotus position like a child. Robin raises a brow at this – she seems so much like a child with her innocence and her naivety to such things. A shiver runs down her spine as he wonders if, the reason she acts like this, with eyes so wide that only see the wonder in the world, if her childhood was ripped from her.

His thoughts are interrupted when a blur of red places a kiss on his cheek in greeting, and is suddenly pressed to the brunette’s face, smile wide and green eyes blinking with joy. “Good morning, new friend! It is glorious to see you have awoken, but may I say, you do hold the scent of what Cyborg calls the oil. Why is that?”

Esper clawed backwards from the energetic girl, back into Cyborg’s shoulder as her heart slammed against her ribs, unused to such excitement in large bursts. Starfire merely stared down at the girl, awaiting an answer when a gloved hand pulled her back.

Beast boy smiled over her shoulder and pulled Starfire back to the ground, patting her shoulder. “Whoa, Star, give her a bit of time to wake up. She’s _gotta_ try my tofu first – I’ve got enough for everybody!”

A half-hearted chuckle escaped Cyborg with a following of ‘nope’ from the man, Robin murmured something into his paper and Starfire nodded eagerly, situating herself beside Robin at the table, nimbly ignoring the frown that settled on Beast Boy’s face. Behind him, Raven lifted a cup of steaming tea to her lips, murmuring her chant to lift a spoonful of sugar into the cup.

Leaning back, a plate of tofu bacon on toast was lifted under her nose gingerly, Beast boy smiling widely at her. “ _C’mon_ , Rae-Rae, you like it, right? Esp? Come on, someone likes it besides me.”

“Don’t call me Rae-Rae, and no-one does. Accept that,” answered the emotionless girl as she curled up on the edge of the seat beside Starfire, taking small sips of her drink as a book hovered over the table before her.

Beast Boy sighed, and turned to Esper with a hopeful smile. The girl blinked and turned, watching the wary looks and shaking heads, minus Starfire who spooned the food delicately into her mouth, answering that it tasted like a ‘home dish, mechquanflark.’  But Beast Boy’s bright eyes, at the chance to have a small victory over his friends made her lift her hands in welcome for the plate, which Beast Boy eagerly pressed into her hands. Astonished looks were sent her way as her fingers picked a brittle piece of tofu bacon from the plate, and slipped the food between her lips.

Whooping as she smiled at the green-skinned boy, and began to continue eating the food, Beast boy danced backwards in joy, leaving the other titan’s in dumbfounded wonder.

Then, the alarm began to blare.                               


	6. illusion of victory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Tell my sister I said hi,"

Eyes turned upwards, and a small body fell from the seat in shock at the shrill scream of the alarm. Her eyes didn't connect to the screen like the others, a flashing warning of red and yellow, across the wide screen, alerting them to a criminal. Her fingers shook like an earthquake resided beneath her, whilst only annoyed glances passed across the band of heroes.

In one quick move, whilst sending a victorious wink to a passing Raven, the small changeling ripped his clothes from his body, revealing the black and purple jump suit beneath it. Then, green circles rounded into plates as he took in the sight of the terrified, short-haired brunette, fingers clawing into the floor at the shriek of the alarm.

"We've got trouble, titans, g –"

"Esp!" the green-haired boy dropped to his knees beside her, feeling a significant crack in his chest as she crawled back from him, her eyes unseeing. She lived in a memory and they were right back at the start. Her jaw hung open, mouth moving around unspoken words and he could vaguely hear Cyborg trying to bring to girl back into reality. Twisting his body, Beastboy gave Robin a firm look. "We can't leave her here, dude."

With a curl of a scowl, Robin raked a hand through the gelled back locks against his head. The alarm had been silenced, but the heavy whimpers that escaped the terrified girl were enough to fill the silenced room. With a tap to the changeling's shoulder, Robin nods at him. "You stay here with her, then. It's too dangerous for her to be out in the field like that with us."

A disappointed look curls across his features, mouth falling open. "But –"

"It is best for her," a soft hand falls on his shoulder, wide green eyes that could match his own stare with bright kindness, and as the girl in front of them curls further into her body, like a turtle into its shell, a soft sigh escapes her. " _You_  are best with her – for her." So he relents, and they thunder out the doors as he whispers soothing words to the terrified girl.

It's in a matter of minutes that the smell of rubber against asphalt hits the air, and the sleek R-Cycle falls from the mouth of the garage, the T-Car not far behind, licking at its heels. The city buildings fall past in a haze of greys and crumbled brick. A trail of destruction follows them as they search; their eyes widen at the sight.

Suddenly, a sharp yell from the R-Cycle alerts three pairs of eyes to the bike, suddenly swept into the air and absent of a driver. High above the ground, flailing in surprise, is Robin and his bike, held precariously in a bubble, flickering with silver. Eyes grew wide at the sight as he threw out his arms to steady himself against the bubble walls, brows furrowed tightly downwards. His mouth snapped open and closed around deafened words, and as Starfire's energy lifted to her waiting fingers, Cyborg and Raven sought out who had trapped their leader.

Down the cracked and splintered concrete, as if someone has ripped the earth apart, wrenching piece by broken piece from the ground, a boy stands. His feet skim the ground as he hovers, and his eyes flicker like silver coins, and a barely noticeable tattoo curls beneath his eye. His hair is matted with sweat, silver curls that tickle the shells of his ears, but it doesn't seem to stop him in his conquest. Dark skin seems to rip, and blood beads to the top of the open cuts, as the strain of his powers takes its toll on his body. A silver jumpsuit adorns his body, feet bare of shoes, with a black band around his forehead, and he smiles when their angered gaze lands on him as his hands close, and Robin's fingers curl around his throat.

Starfire's anger bursts inside her chest like a fire, but useless shot after useless shot is sent to the impenetrable bubble of transparent steel, and electric green eyes turn on the smirking boy, whose steel eyes seem unseeing.

Cyborg falls forwards, a roar falling through crooked teeth, his legs propelling him forwards as the oxygen was ripped from Robin's lungs. But suddenly, as Cyborg's arm lifts upwards, Robin is dropped ceremoniously to shaking knees, and his lungs swallow oxygen greedily. Starfire is at his side, questions filling the air around them. Hovering just above, Raven is shaking with anger, trying to reign in her emotions, but sudden shock takes over her features.

The boy swings his arms in one quick movement, crossing them in an 'X' shape in front of him, and as Cyborg throws his fist towards him, it pauses in mid-air. His entire body is frozen in place, and his eyes dart around in bewilderment. No-one notices the twitch of a smirk that touches the boy's features.

"Now that I have your attention, kids," he speaks in a low, accented voice, and throws his arms open wide. Cyborg can only blink before a wave of energy sends him flying back, thrown into Starfire, and lands heavily on the pavement, a cloud of stone ricocheting up behind him as he skids down the broken and rutted concrete. At the other end, the boy sighs, throwing a hand through his thick mane of silver hair. "Let's put the class in motion, shall we?"

Robin only stutters out a weak, 'titans go!' before a sickening crack splits the air like a bullet through the wind, and wide eyes turn towards the boy. Raven's fingers burn, Starfire's eyes turn a sickly green in response to the sight.

Beside the boy, a building spits dust and bricks as its body is wrenched from the ground. Blood drips from his nose as he tries to control the mass of moving brick and metal. The building, vacant of humans, slowly rises into the sky, until it has hovered to sit above the boy's wide-open palms, which face upwards towards the building. Lungs collapse and hearts stutter in shock at the sight as suddenly, his palms fly towards them, and the building follows.

Raven is quick to jump upwards into the air, screaming her enchantment as the boulder of rock and bent metal comes soaring towards them. "Azarath metrion zinthos!"

Her hands flicker with her black aura, but as her powers fight the boy's to control the building, it is too quick for her to grasp a hold on it, and it flies even faster towards her. With a gasp, she shuts her eyes shut, awaiting the burst of pain to fall across her body. But instead, she hears a sharp grunt and only dares to open her eyes, to find Cyborg in front of her, thick metal digits clutching the building. He strains against the weight, but drives it away, flinging the building to the ground as if it's merely a doll in his hands.

When he turns to Raven, she gives a nod, a simple way of her saying a thank you to her metal friend, and he returns the gesture. Looking back, his mouth tilts into a snarl as his eyes slide across the slumped figure of the teenage boy. The gears in his arms shift and clank until a whirring gun of blue energy is fitted where his hand was moments ago. "Hey! If you're gonna crush someone with a building, crush  **me!** "

But the boy isn't listening, as his hand slides across the ground beneath him, and he's suddenly spiraling into the air, feet planted firmly on a manhole cover as it propels him high into the atmosphere, narrowly ducking past a flattened disc of Starfire's star bolts. He laughs, as if the weariness has not left him dry of any nectar of strength, and throws his hands out again towards the red-haired girl with electric green eyes.

She gives a shriek as spheres of minuscule searing-hot metal are thrown at her body, causing her to throw her hands up in defense as pain bloomed across her skin. She hardly noticed how Robin's eyes shot up towards her and his lip curled in anger.

As Starfire drops to avoid the oncoming hail of metal, a shape drives past her and further into the sky. She grinned as Robin, clinging to Cyborg's arm, dropped onto the metal disc beneath the boy's feet as Cyborg passed him, to divert his attention from Raven, his nimble fingertips already spinning the metal Bo staff in hand. But with one flick of the boy's wrist, the staff crumpled in Robin's hands, into a pathetic ball of elongated metal.

Sighing, Robin tossed the useless weapon into the oblivion below them, a picture of rooftops and skyscrapers, and threw his fists up as the boy charged at him. A fist swung towards him, narrowly missing his face as he ducked to the side, and he threw a leg into the others stomach, knocking him on his back. The boy grunted, silver eyes glaring up at him in malice, but Robin didn't smirk as his hand curled into the silver jumpsuit, and pulled the boy into him. "Who are you?"

With a chuckle, the boy, now recognizable to see he's of Indian descent, curls his fingers over Robin's. "Names Illusion," he mutters, and he wrenches Robin's fingers open, and swings his legs around in a circle, knocking the hero onto his own back, and he stands, picking a few strands of black hair from his clothes, "boy wonder."

But suddenly, Robin's feet are planted into his chest, and the boy is falling from his own aerial device with a scream. He's quick to recover, and he's soon perched on a curved, burnt piece of broken metal, most likely from the roof of a car. He glowers at Robin, who seems to be frozen in a fighting stance, ready for anything.

As Illusion throws his hands up and the titans await his attack, he pauses. His head angles towards something, and there, they can see the faint outline of an earpiece, embedded into his ear. He smiles and tilts his head, and Robin feels his breath catch in his throat. A very familiar 'S' curves around the exterior of the earpiece.

"You know," drawls Illusion, crossing his arms across his chest, no longer fighting. The four titans surround him, weapons drawn and annoyance clear on their features. But he only stares at Robin, who falters at the sight of the earpiece. "I thought Slade's apprentice would put up more of a fight."

Robin feels a growl rise up from his throat, feels worried eyes on his skin that seem to burn him from the inside out. But he only curls his fists tighter. "He would've, if Slade had an apprentice. What do you want Illusion?"

Illusion smirks, with all the confidence of a boy that knows nothing of struggle, as he swipes the dust and remnants of their battle from his clothes. "Only wish to send a message to someone dear to me," he answers, and he is suddenly steadily rising, the metal flattening into a disc beneath him. He sends the boy wonder a wink. "Tell my  _sister_  I said hi," he calls out as he lowers his hand to the metal and he soars away, into the blanket of clouds above.


	7. family ties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beastboy vaguely remembers it sounding like 'brother'.

When they arrive home, to the television blaring and a small shape huddled on the couch, staring at a book with wide eyes, they are broken. They are bent and exhausted, with Raven collapsing against Cyborg's arm, an angry red ring around Robin's throat and dust clinging to their clothes.

Beastboy bounces towards them and his smile only falters when he notices the worn and torn bodies of his team mates. Raven all but collapses into his arms when he comes forth, and he collects her gentle to his chest. Cyborg stretches, but his eyes are already slotting shut as he moves towards the couch at the other end of the room. Robin and Starfire are dragging each other along and once they reach the couch, Starfire curls into Robin's side, his arms clutching her towards him, and they are both suddenly comatose in their conjoined sleep. Esper stares in bewilderment from over the papered lips of her book.

When Cyborg collapses beside her, she jumps in shock as the sudden weight of the man causes her to drop her book. In the background she vaguely hears Beastboy scoop Raven gingerly into his arms from behind her.

As the mountain of a man folds into a pillow, Beastboy moves into Esper's eye line, raven fit easily against his chest. Brown eyes fit against green, but his smile is gone and his eyes are worried as he surveys the damage that has been caused to his friends. "I'm gonna go hook Rae up with a shower, can you get out the first aid kit? It's in the cupboard under the sink."

As Beastboy disappeared with Raven in his arms, as Esper shifts to follow the soft orders. She's quick to find a box, clasping both hands around the handle and pulling it, clattering to the floor. She struggles with the weight, due to her lack of muscle, and finally pulls the box over to the couch, sitting herself in the middle of the three titans.

Her fingers unrolled a curl of gauze, and she started her work on Cyborg's neck, considering both Robin and Starfire were curled tightly around one another. The blood beaded to the top, and she pressed the gauze there carefully, securing it with medical tape before disappearing once more. She came back with a bowl full of water and a towel, and after a few minutes, proceeded to pull the gauze from his neck and start to clean the wound of any blood.

A few stray bits of gravel and metal littered his skin, and Esper felt a shudder pull across her skin as her fingers rolled across the metal. The scent filters back her memories of a cramped room and a boy with silver eyes.

She's ripped out of a scream from a memory long forgotten when she hears the smooth squeal of the mechanical door behind her. Beastboy tosses her a soft smile, one that never seems to leave his face, but it grows weaker as his eyes search across his friends faces. Bruises and dust mark their skin, and Starfire's leg has a long but shallow cut down the calf, the blood drying into the torn material of her boot.

He dropped down beside her, fishing out the scissors from the first aid box and carefully cutting away the useless and torn material of the purple boot. It slipped away easily, and considering the other boot useless as well, slipped it off, chuckling as her toes wiggled in the free air.

The changeling wrapped her cut with gauze gently, with a softness that Esper had never seen him display; she'd only ever seen firecracker excitement or mischief from the boy. But those thoughts were banished as Beastboy peeled back the corner of Robin's mask, a deep, jagged cut pressed into his temple, causing her to shudder. She had never been a fan of blood.

Beastboy was quick to patch up the few cuts and bruises his friends held, and as Esper stood beside him, he ran a hand across his face tiredly. All excitement had dropped from his features as he stretched next to her, a few bones cracking across his back. "I hate it when they come home like this, you know?"

Suddenly, his armour cracked, and Esper caught sight of a vulnerable child behind unruly green locks and wide eyes. So, her fingers sought his out in the haze on the midnight, and caught them tightly, as if to keep him rooted in reality. Beastboy's body jumped in surprise at the sudden contact, his eyes found hers and he gave her a soft smile, squeezing her own fingers in reply. The silence between them filled more than words ever could.

Then, Esper's body is moving after Beastboy's, hands clasped together, and a questioning gaze is sent to the changeling. "Usually, when we come back from a fight, yeah we're a little tired, but never this much," he sighed, pulling through the doors with fast paced steps. "So, I'm sorta gonna break a law and look on Robin's computer for Cyborg's camera, to see what knocked them out so bad."

When the air shifts, to a slightly colder temperature, she knows that the doors that have slid open for them open to Robin's room, and Beastboy releases her hand. The room is practically a newspaper, with clippings and pictures from various ones cluttering the walls, with others littering the floors, with the cool crunch of crisp paper beneath their feet.

The boy seemingly rushes towards the computer opposite Robin's bed, all bottled excitement and energy dripping from his skin as he cracked his knuckles, which made the girl flinch at the sharp sound, and his fingers sped across the keyboard, tapping out a rhythm that hardly seemed recognizable in the crescendo of clicking keys.

The screen flickered to life sleepily, before a familiar sound of ragged breaths caught their ears, and a grainy image of a steering wheel and a windshield blinks on the screen. "We usually use these videos to study our enemies tactics and movements," explains Beastboy, but shrugs as he continues, "or at least that's what Robin says."

Suddenly, a sharp yell splits the silence, and the camera shifts, to the image of a boy in red, green and yellow floating in mid-air, with a flickering ball of silver curled around his flailing figure. As Cyborg lifts himself from the pit of the car, she notices how Beastboy's fingers curl in anger, and feels a stab of guilt in her lungs as she realizes he's angry he hadn't been there. Because of  _her,_  and how she had been propelled backwards into a memory so harshly, she'd only resurfaced moments before she drowned beneath the harsh waves. But the best she can do now, is lay a hand against his arm, a feat for her as she is usually adverting human touch.

He hardly feels it against the rising heat of his anger, as Robin's fingers curl around his throat, mouth gaping wide as he searches for air. He watches how Raven's fingers clench, how Starfire's eyes round in horror at the sight of her distressed boyfriend. Then, Cyborg's head snaps, and a shape can be found, toes grazing the ground behind a graveyard of rubble.

The image zooms in, and the boy is dark skinned, with silver eyes and silver hair. His skin has been cut from the sheer strength of his powers, deep red ribbons in his skin, but he smiles.

She doesn't look up from the troubled gaze of her friend until the image has zoomed in, and her chest is suddenly collapsing in on itself. The boy is familiar, far too familiar to her mind, to her memories. Her hand leaves Beastboy's arm and her legs buckle. Her fingers clasp over her mouth, muffling a scream.

Beastboy vaguely remembers it sounding like  _'brother'._


	8. memories create tragedies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “You just didn’t see him, so don’t beat yourself up for it. It’s alright to make mistakes.”

_The heat licked at her porcelain skin, a kiss like velvet across her fingers. The slight tingle against her hands was welcome, more so as the energy strengthened and curled into a dome around her small limbs. Though the intense terror still remained rooted in her skin, she smiled._

_The heat was gone from her skin in an instant as the scuffle of feet twigged against her ears. Her slight frame shivered as a body slammed against the floor, a muffled cry breaking through clenched teeth. A hand, wrapped in gauze and littered with blood spots that looked like teeth marks, curled around a beaten and bruised shoulder. The boy, now swearing in a language she didn’t understand, was ripped from the ground, and he was only silenced when a hand connected with his cheek, throwing him to the dirtied ground._

_Her fingers clenched around the bars in rage, in fury. But her touch was only loosened when she felt soft fingers on hers, yet she didn’t jump. Her own digits curled around the larger ones, gripping them in an iron-wrought hold._

_But her breath disappeared on her tongue, dissolved like cruel medicine, as the boy looked up. A sharp scream pulled from his lips as his hair, once midnight black, started to lengthen in silver strands that brushed past his ears. His eyes, almond shaped and dark, brightened to a transparent silver. The pain was evident as it curled across his face, how his genetics twisted and moulded to create something that wasn’t him. Unfortunately, the man holding his shoulder in a tight grip turned blind to this and threw the boy into his cell._

_The bars vibrated as the cell door fell shut, and the boy fell against the wall like a thrown doll, defeated as the pain turned his nerve endings to ash. The footsteps disappeared down the hall, a voice muttering into an intercom around his ear, recording the successfulness of an experiment._

_Once the elder had left, her eyes turned on the crumpled figure. The hand still wrapped around hers had not yet tightened, in fear of harming her. She only felt a tight squeeze as the boy in the cell shuffled forwards, green hues alight in the lamplight. He fell into the light, dirtied blond locks obscuring the green eyes, sunken in and ringed with dark circles. His skin was pale in the lamplight, with a large plaster over the curve of his jaw, an angry red protruding from the flimsy skin of the plaster._

_Blinking rapidly to rid the sweat from his eyes after his own ordeal, he smacked a hand against the bars of his metal cage, causing them to vibrate and create a soft clink noise. “Hey, hey kid!”_

_His whispered voice caused movement, the boy’s muscles twitching in fright, causing both to flinch at the familiar sight. He’d already grown used to the beatings when they didn’t accomplish whatever task was set out for them._

_A soft groan pulls through clenched teeth. “Kid, don’t ignore me.”_

_My name is Tamkeen!” he hisses, his body twisting upwards and silver eyes glare down at the blond haired boy. She jumps in her seat, knees folding against her chest, as if to shelter herself from the world. She’s had enough of yelling._

_The silver-eyed Indian boy slithers his gaze over her, and his nose turns upwards at the sight. They’re polar opposites, as even though his clothes have been changed, his silver jumpsuit is impeccably clean. Whilst her own is a dirty blue, dried with blood and sweat. He turned to the boy in the cell beside her. “What the heck do you want?”_

_Beside her, the elder of the two chuckled humourlessly, holding his hands up in defence. “Easy there, man, I just wanted to know if you’re okay, if they were easy with ya’,” the southern drawl is soft, like butter on his tongue, yet it’s hardened around the edges, threatening to crack like glass at any moment. “My name’s Jason, or Jase. Take your pick, can I call you Tammy?”_

_Tamkeen folds his brows downwards, brow crumpled like a fallen building, and his hands shake. In anger or fear, she doesn’t know, but she curls further in on herself all the same. He nudges a shoulder towards her. “Whose she?”_

_Jason tilts his head, peering through the bars and once his gaze has locked onto her, he shrugs. “Dude, I have no idea. At all. She doesn’t talk much.”_

_Groaning, Tamkeen’s large hand swipes across his face, the effects of the day playing across his features. It’s amazing he hasn’t started sobbing yet – new arrivals usually do. But with all the confidence of a boy who’s never known a day of struggle in his life, his shoulders square and his chin lifts. “I’m gonna get outta here, you know.”_

_Jason pulls his words together with all the force of an army in his throat. “No, you’re not.”_

_His silver eyes seem to flare in anger. “I will! I’ll get home to my family, I’ll tell the police about this place. Just ‘cause you two haven’t escaped doesn’t mean I won’t.” His large fingers, caked in blood, whether it’s his own or not, curl tightly around the bars of his cell. But his hands started to shake around the bars, a reminder he was still caged._

_A slight tremor tugs at Jason’s body, a soft sign of his anger. She pressed her back to the wall, but before either of them could launch into an argument, her soft voice filled the air. “Who do you think sold you?”_

_In the cell opposite them, Tamkeen blinks in shock, as if he’d never heard the slight swell of a shaking voice. His gaze turns towards her, silver eyes blazing with anger at the statement. “What did you just say? Parents don’t sell their kids, you idiot! I –”_

_Don’t speak to her like that,” Jason contorted with anger, his hands curling into the metal of the bars. Her body flinched at the crescendo of voices, hands falling over her ears. “She’s right! What, do you think you just landed in their hands, even though no-one knew where you were!?”_

_Jason’s voice loses its strength, it’s power behind the twisted words, as his gaze lowers. The memories are still sharp in his mind, piercing his chest like splintered glass. Tamkeen’s breath shatters behind his teeth, and he falls back, swearing and doubting in a mix of English and Indian, the tears finally falling across his cheeks. Her own fingers curl over her ears, to drown out the body-wracking sobs, as her own body crumples against the wall._

_Jason’s hands pull back from the cell bars, an indent of his fingers in them. Footsteps stop outside her cell, and when she looks up, a man in a lab coat is staring at her with little emotion. “Experiment 622017 must report to testing area immediately.”_

It’s late and a few days past when she finds him. His fingers are clenched, his body is quick as he sends blow after blow to the dummy’s unsuspecting straw body, with grunts as loud as a bull’s. But her emotionless gaze stays emotionless in its sweep, and her body crawls from the shadows. As he punches through the air and sends the bag reeling, screeching against its iron restraints, she watches as parts of him leave his body and wonders how much is left of him as he tortures his mind.

But she’s slightly surprised when he calls her name, as if every gaze she had sent across his skin felt like a scrape of glass. “Raven, I know you’re there.”

She pulls down the twitch of her smile as she joins him, when his hand clasps around the metal throat of the swinging bag, silencing it in his palm. “You always do. Look, Robin –”

“Don’t say it wasn’t my fault, alright,” he hissed, another crushing punch sent to the bag before his arm reached upwards and unclasped the bag, dragging it behind him like a child’s blanket. As he pushed it into a closet filled with weapons, he sighed, pressing his forehead to the door. “I should’ve seen him – I was _in front_ – and I should’ve warned you before you all got hurt.”

Raven’s arms cross and a delicate brow arches. Annoyance clouds her face and she joins him, leaning the curve of her shoulder blade against the wall beside him. She sucks on her bottom lip as she talks. “You know, I’ve never met a hero who was genuinely happy with everything they did.”

“What’re you talking about?”

 “You made a mistake, Robin, we all do,” she answers, and turns herself onto her back against the wall, sighing at the comfort that the chill of it brings through her cloak. Her leg lifts and she places her foot against the wall and averts her eyes like a child scorned. “You just didn’t see him, so don’t beat yourself up for it. It’s alright to make mistakes.”

Robin twists, leaning back against the wall and crosses his arms, nestling his chin into his chest. His brow folds and the years of responsibility make him appear young and old in one frail look. A shudder wracks his chest. “You’re right, but...he was with _Slade_ , and how anyone could want to work with him is just...”

He searches for the words inside his throat, behind his ribs but he finds only his lungs, which seemed to be crushed by the shock and embarrassment of being so easily defeated. His gaze turns downwards, to his hands, which are still dusted with the remnants of the fight and he can see them shake. Groaning, he shoves them deep into his pockets, as if that will stop the tremors that roll across his skin like water.

The enchantress tilts her head, eyes catching the lamplight above and she pushes off the wall. “I know, you’ve got a thing with Slade. But we’re going to find out what he wants, what Illusion wants,” she spits his name out like a bitter taste on her tongue, and her eyes roll. Her gaze turns to Robin in slits. “But first, we break it down. What’d he say to you?”

Robin’s mind reels back, to concrete and ash and finds silver eyes in front of his own. A mouth moves around deafened words, which fall though Robin’s mouth. “Tell my sister I said hi. Whose –” the realization is quick and a stab of anger pierces his skin like a hot poker rod. A face clouds his mind with chopped short brown hair and innocent brown eyes, but he doubts if they are innocent.

But his thoughts are broken when a slight shape barrels through the door, green eyes wide in horror and her mouth tilted open, calling for the two absent titans. Robin’s quick to catch her hand as she races to dart off down the hall again. Raven’s already flicked up her hood and sped past. “Star, what is it? What’s happened?”

“Oh Robin, it is friend-Esper, Beastboy says she has collapsed,” her voice breaks is fright, and he realizes how serious it is, “and Cyborg says she may not awaken.”


	9. broken toys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "We chose our family there, and that boy, Illusion, was my brother, Tamkeen."

When Robin joins them, they aren't gathered with worry clouding their eyes like he expected. Cyborg's mulling around her, an IV connected to her wrist, with Beastboy on her other side, a videogame clutched preciously between his fingers. Raven hovers at the end of the bed, the only one that looks visibly disturbed by the sight of the girl huddled beneath blankets.

Cyborg launches into an analytic description before Robin can speak. "She isn't malnourished or sick or any of the sort, she's just suffering from a portion of major shock and trauma. She has a case of  _Complex Trauma,_  most likely taken from her time as...an experiment, it's when someone has been neglected massively or put through serious abuse," his throat is clogged as he forces the words out, "she'll be fine, we just need to monitor her for signs of it delving further."

The leader nods gently as he stands beside Beastboy, his gaze flickering down to the unconscious brunette passively. Her bottom lip has bled after being chewed into, with a dried cut. Her brows are scrunched together, as if she's concentrating hard on something in her mind, as well as her fingers clenched into the sheets.

Sighing, Robin crosses his arms and dips his chin into his chest momentarily before he comes to a conclusion. He lifts it once more, the visage of a pillar in a room of tired heroes. "I regret to inform you about this, but as soon as she's well, she has to leave."

Stunned gazes turn towards the masked hero, and Beastboy pauses his game to stare at the elder. Starfire jumps from her perch on the window sill, moving to stand beside Robin, brows furrowed as she tries to decode her boyfriend's words.

Cyborg bursts with a furrowed gaze. "What,  _why!?_ "

"That-That boy – Illusion – he said 'tell my sister I said hi.' There's only one person in this room that he could've been referring too, and she's connected to an IV right now," he answers, his words seeming to pierce the air like a knife, "he was working for Slade, for all we know, she could be a spy. We can't have that." He forces himself to bite back on the word _again_  as he looks to Beastboy.

"But Robin," starts Starfire, her soft voice eerily low, as low as a whisper as he gaze is sent towards the girl, "we do not know for sure whether she is in legion with our enemies. She is still a person in need of medical comfort."

Weariness takes hold of him as he stands at the end of the bed, clutching the rounded bedposts as if they were a lifeline. He noticed how Raven stayed silent against the doorway, understanding in all endeavours. "Yes, and as soon as she's better, she needs to leave."

Beastboy, now stood, stands back against the wall, eyes narrowed dangerously. In the time he's spent getting to know Esper, he's become severely protective of her. "Yet, what happens if she  _isn't_ with Slade? You'll be sending someone out into the cold that needs our help!"

Before Robin can snap back with an annoyed gaze, Raven is stood at his side, her voice devoid of all emotion, just like always. "But what if she is? We'll be housing a spy that could ultimately lead to something serious. We don't know her, Beastboy."

He bites back the  _'I do'_ in return for shouting. The group turns into a screaming cage match, with Cyborg angrily standing over the girl like a fierce protector, Beastboy yelling at Robin to think back over his actions. Raven Stands at the side, as passive as ever with Starfire pleading for the peaceful approach between her friends. Robin stands tall and proud, unwavering in their decision.

A whimper breaks through the crescendo and eyes turn to the girl on the bed. Dilated brown hues are scrunched closed as her fingers curl over the IV cord. Blood beads to the top of the wound but she only blinks at the pain. Cyborg is quick to dig for bandages and press one to the inside of her wrist.

Beastboy sighs in relief and lowers himself next to her. "How come you always wake up when we're fighting, Esp?"

She smiles unsteadily at the changeling and shrugs, but her gaze is swept elsewhere when Robin clears his voice. He straightens himself at the end of the bed, and before he can speak, her soft voice shatters the silence. "I-I heard...you want to know, don't you?"

It's the longest sentence they've heard her say in the short time she's been thrust into their lives, and it's silent as Robin walks towards her, steady, as if she'll attack him for doubting her loyalty to her friends. But she's soft and tired in the bed – worn out from the paralysation of the memory. Behind his black and white gaze, the boy stares at her, awaiting her tale.

She gathers the air greedily into her lungs, as if filling her body with as much oxygen as it needs so she can breathe it out in one long sigh. But she releases the air and slumps forwards, as if the weight off her shoulders has disappeared. "When I was young, I  _had_  a family. I don't remember what they looked like or...what they sounded like, if I have my mother's eyes or my father's nose," she mutters, and her knees scrunch up beneath her, so close to her chest she can rest her chin on them. She folds in on herself, and only continues on when she feels a hand on her knee, and she finds Beastboy smiling at her, encouraging her to continue.

She breathes. She exhales. She continues. "I remember...so  _many_  things, but I mostly remember hallways. I remember a doctor that was kind to me until they took me out of the room and I didn't get to leave with my family. The last time I saw them was in that room and when they called me in, they forcefully put me under gas." Her eyes turn glassy and an arm curls around her shoulders, trying desperately to hold the pieces of her together. "I woke up, and my name was Experiment 622017. I became a plaything, an...experiment. They never told me their objective, but as the days went by, more children were brought in. We...changed."

They lean in as the words shatter on her tongue, wake as the girl tries to hold herself together. They can't blame her though, even with their traumatic pasts, they can't help the violent flinches or the clenching of their fingers. Robin stays solid; Raven lets Starfire clutch her arm as she inputs small gasps. Cyborg sits slumped in a chair, mouth covered by his large fists whilst Beastboy winds his arms around her tightly.

The masked leader lowers himself tenderly to her side, and gently touches her fingers that clutch at her legs. Brown eyes turn upwards, startled as if she'd never been in reality. "That boy, who called himself Illusion. Why did you call him brother?"

When her fingers start to shake, he lets her hold his hand. "To survive these changes, we...made a family, in those cells. It didn't make it easier, it was just familiar. It's a lie when they say you can't choose your family," her tone lifts slightly, into something they've never heard in her words before. Determination floods her, seeps into her body and words. "We chose our family there, and that boy, Illusion, was my brother, Tamkeen."

Nothing akin to shock holds them at the confession, but sympathy and understanding are the only feelings they convey, other than anger. Starfire's hand lands on her other hand that in clenched into the sheets and squeezes, green eyes alight with her familiar kindness. It causes a smile to curl onto her freckled cheeks.

Despite his better judgement, Robin presses for desperate answers. "Esper, I know this is hard, but I need to ask – do you know of a man called Slade?"

The downtrodden look transforms slightly and the girl raises an eyebrow with a shake of her head, silently questioning the raven-haired boy. He sighs and pats her hand before straightening. That's probably the most he'd get out of her, as her mouth slid closed and her time whilst speaking was over. She shrunk into the pillows, and Beastboy retracted his arm around her, reluctantly as Starfire pushed through to talk to the girl excitedly, already organizing a shopping trip to get her mind off of the gruesome subject once she was well.

The leader waved goodbye and, tossing a hopeful get well to her, left the room. Cyborg and Raven were already outside waiting for him.

"So?" questioned the metal man, as he crossed his powerful arms expectantly. His brow rose in anticipation, awaiting his leader's analysis on the girl. "Still think she's a spy."

"I have no doubt her story was real, but she could very well be lying about Slade," he huffed, his gaze levelling to the six foot giant in metal and flesh. Raven stood back, seemingly bored with the conversation at hand. "How else did she just land in our laps like that, and how did Illusion get into contact with Slade? I want answers, and she's not giving them too me."

His red eye narrows. "She gave you the best she could Robin, but whatever, I've got a patient to take care of."

He shoulders past the shorter, and slides into the other room. Following his departure, Robin groans and slaps a hand to his forehead, proceeding to rake it down his face in frustration. "He's angry with me for calling her a spy, isn't he?"

Raven shrugs. "Hey, you can't please everyone."


	10. brown eyes leak red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Oh my god, it's you. You're here. You're alive, oh my god, you're alive."

She stays.

The happiest about it is Beastboy, who enjoys having another video game partner, whilst Starfire is a close second, elated to have someone to take shopping and engage in activities with her. But Robin keeps a close eye on the girl, still unsure about her.

Once she is well, Cyborg eagerly proposes taking her out to see the city. Esper's eyes at the proposition, remembering her entrance upon Jump City when she arrived, with a robot on her heels. But their eyes are pleading, begging to get out of the walls of the tower and she can't help but nod her head.

The sun blinds her, after spending so long in the dark behind the tower walls. But she finds her eyes widening and her jaw turning slack as she peers out of the window of the fast-moving T-Car, climbing over Raven in her haste to stare at the outside world. The landscape changes from silver oceans to rolling fields and to buildings that tower over her like concrete trees. She lets out a happy gasp when Cyborg opens the window and the wind rushes in, blowing back her hair. She vaguely remembers feeling her fingers take flight on the rush of air.

The car pulls into park and she's the first one out, marvelling at the sight of the world around her. It'd been so long since she'd drank in the sunlight greedily, since she'd looked at the buildings around her than simply running past them in haste to get away from the ghosts that bit at her ankles. She's pulled out of her trance by a hand tugging on her shirt sleeve.

When she fails to see over the bustling bodies to view the city, she's suddenly swept up and placed high on someone's shoulder, noticing Cyborg smirking beneath her. Her jaw slackens again as she hangs on, giggling when Beastboy complains that the metal giant had never done the action for him.

She's pulled and pushed and tugged through shops and street corners and restaurants. She doesn't mind, as she marvels at the new sights and smells and finds herself completely at home, linked arm-in-arm with the others.

It's late when they arrive back at the car, Beastboy and Cyborg excitedly shouting about a games tournament they'd witnessed during their time spent in the city, whilst Starfire and Robin animatedly talk about the encounter with a few young fans in the park earlier. Raven strides beside Esper, as quiet as always.

Whilst Cyborg fiddles with the lock for the car door, Raven feels a nudge against her shoulder. She turns to a smiling face, her hands behind her back as she bounces on her toes. Her voice flattens and her gaze turns bored beneath her purple hood. "What?"

It's only when her hands come from behind her back does she look down, to find a book in the girl's hands, dusty and slightly worn from years of use. She tries to hide the confusion in her gaze as the dark-haired girl presses it into her hands. When she lifts it to read the title, it's written in Latin.

"What's this for?" the book is heavy in her hands, and she can already tell that it's full of things she hasn't come across, as the title is unknown to her large collection of philosophies and symposium's. The girl only averts her gaze shyly. She doesn't even remember anyone giving her money, but she knows that the younger wouldn't dare do so in the company of the others. She realizes this is a way to gain her friendship. "Thank you," she stutters out.

Her gratitude is short lived, as suddenly, an overhead lamplight shatters. Robin covers Starfire as the glass falls down and confusion settles in their gaze. When they look up, Cyborg faintly growls.

Two shapes, overshadowed by the shadow of the setting sun, stand at the end. One floats on a disc, silver hair floating in waves around him. Beside him, another boy with dark blond tresses stands cockily. He's broader than the other, with bright green eyes that seem to enjoy the chaos. Illusion lowers his hand and jumps from his floating disc to stand it on its side and lean against it. They wait.

Robin wastes no time in slipping the retractable metal staff from its pouch. "Esper, get in the car," the girl is frozen to the spot, her eyes connecting with a pair of silver hues. A smile pulls at his lips. "Esper, now!"

She jumps from the spot and falls into the car, closing the door behind her. The sound of the door falling back into place and locking seems to be the starting call for the heroes to shoot forwards and attack.

The two teenagers stand their ground until suddenly, they both ricochet forwards, Illusion flying high on his silver disc. He dives straight towards Robin and Beastboy, grinning maliciously.

His companion however, doesn't dive for anyone. He stands, a few fifty metres away from the two girls and Cyborg, who readies his sonic cannon in preparation. Starfire's eyes light up and she lifts herself higher into the air, whilst Raven crouches into a defensive stance, her fists surrounded by black unwavering energy.

The boy feints a step forwards, and that's all it takes for Cyborg to take fire, along with Starfire and Raven. The shape glides through the cloud of dust and debris, dodging each strike sent towards him, as if it were a dance. When they pause in their efforts to hinder the enemy, a shape takes Cyborg by surprise and a thick soled purple and black boot is suddenly sent into his jaw. A roundhouse kick sends both girls sprawling to the ground, staring up in horror at the sight. Jinx smiles down at them.

Their horror is short lived when suddenly, the body moulds into something that isn't the petite, pink-haired girl, but the torso lengthens and broadens, until the same blond boy smiles down at them with a cheeky grin. "Guess I'm just going through a  _phase_  at the moment."

With a howl, Cyborg batters into the younger, sending them both sprawling on the ground. Behind him, Raven cups her hand around her mouth, turning to her leader who sends the butt of his staff into the silver-haired boy's forehead angrily. "Robin! This one's a Shape shifter, he can change into anyone we know!"

"A little busy at the moment!" he calls back, as he ducks down to allow Beastboy to spiral over him and transform into a Kangaroo, sending Illusion stumble back a couple of steps and the disc falls beside him. His brother in a pale green jumpsuit stumbles behind him, and he's quick to his feet. As Cyborg sends a blast from the sonic cannon to send the blond boy stumbling back again, Illusion throws up his disc, spins it on its side until it's facing the path of Cyborg's blast, shielding the other. The blast ricochets off of the chrome surface of the disc and the blast is sent spiralling the opposite way, past the group and towards – "Esper!" the blast throws itself into the car, the boom shattering the morbid silence as it throws it into the air, spiralling, until rolling onto its roof. Their breath clutches in their throats at the sight, concern floating between them. The first to break into a sprint towards the car, to find the injured passenger, is Robin.

But, before he can reach upturned vehicle, with its wheels rolling, a charred door is thrown off of the hinges as a red blast shoots out, throwing the door aside in a heap. It barely skims past Cyborg's metal arm.

She climbs out steadily, but her eyes glow red and her jaw is set in anger. Her fingers clench rage as her gaze falls on the two boys that her friends were fighting. Her fingers started to glow an ominous red, until the power inside of them it threw itself out into rings around her wrists. They seemed to circle around her hands in a dizzying dance, like the shells that orbit around an atom. Her teeth grit as she lowers herself into a slight crouch, the heels of her hands pressing together at the centre of her chest to create a half circle. Between her fingers, as she cried out in a grunting noise, a small ball of red energy flared up. It grew, until it devoured her hand.

It was a quick blast, but it threw the ground up when she released the bout of energy gathered in her palms. The dust was flung high into the air, creating a smoke screen between the five heroes and the two teenagers.

But when a shape came barrelling through the smoke like before, it didn't dive for any of them. It pushed through, as if in a hurry. The boy dodged and dived past the blows sent to him, sending them back with a large sweep of power until he came upon the girl with glowing red eyes. His hands landed on her arms.

Any cockiness or anger or conviction he held dripped away from him, and his features softened instantly as he grasped her between his hands. Green eyes stared down at her as he spoke. "Hey, hey, it's okay. Its fine, you're okay."

The words seemed to bring her out of her trance, and the colour returned back to her eyes. Her breath lodged itself into her throat, clogging any words that found their way to the surface as her gaze swept over familiar blond locks and hands that had once cradled her when she screamed at night.

His breath came in short gasps and his hands fell into her hair. He looked like a brother finding his little sister after losing her. "Oh my god, it's you. You're here. You're alive, oh my god, you're alive."

Tears spilled over her cheeks as her mouth parted, trying to form words she didn't know how to say. He kept repeating his chant until he heard the moans of her friends as they sat up, and the dust cleared. He could see Illusion raising the disc and climbing onto it expectantly. He began to tug on her arm as he turned to run back to the boy. "Come on, we have to go. We have to leave, now."

But she stayed frozen to the spot, as if her feet had sunken into the ground beneath them. His tone turned agitated as the disoriented Titans rose, their gaze setting on him. He turned to her, desperation clear on his features. "Please, we can go  _home._ "

Esper felt her body start to turn its gears, and she ripped her arm from his grasp. Her brow furrowed and she felt her heart clench at the sight of a desperate boy she didn't know. She glared at him, anger pulsating in her veins, though her voice was soft. "That place was never my home, Jason."

A foot is lodged into his jaw and a boy in red, green and yellow stands over her as he sends Jason sprawling backwards. But the boy holds quick reflexes, and as he's thrown back, he turns and lands on his toes with one hand on the ground to hold him up. His hand slaps onto his jaw and she flinches, remembering that was the last place he'd gotten hurt. Illusion snaps at him and with one look sent back to the brunette, Jason scurries away and throws himself onto the hovering platform until both rise high into the air.

It's a while before any of them dare to move, and the first to move is Robin as Esper drops to the ground in exhaustion. His arms wind around her waist, trying not to let her crumble further. "You're not a spy, I know that now."

Behind them, they hear Beastboy chuckle. "Esp sure brings a new meaning to the saying, 'seeing red' huh?"

Raven raises a hand. "OW!  _RAVEN!_ "


End file.
